Put away the fish sammiches, it’s Zombie Jesus Day! I’ll be spending mine at home with my family, engaging in a little debauchery like board games, dirt bikes, movies (Shaun of the Dead anyone?), and imbibing on copious amounts of fermented grapes and distilled grains. California origins for the former…Kentucky origins for the latter. Saving my highland single malts for a more important day.
It does my heart great tremendous amounts of good to know that the real reason for the season, Zombie Jesus was not shown as the Google Doodle today. Queue the shock and surprise from the xtians across the earth.
However, I view this as a vindication of the teachings of the xtian tradition. Why should Zombie Jesus be seen on Easter day? After all, isn’t it written that he went missing for three days? Gone? Vanished? Not seen? Even contemporary news at the time didn’t report on any crucified “king of the jews” having magically vanished, his corpse stolen or anything. So for three days, nobody saw this dead guy again. Research has shown that contemporary news at the time – Bronze age Fox News (Bronze Age CNN wouldn’t have covered the story, anyway) didn’t report on it three days later either, but I’m sure the tapes were overwritten over time to record ancient versions of “Married with Children”.
So why should google list ZJ today? I’d look to Google for a full reckoning on Wednesday. But then again, it would be better to draw attention to the 5-year anniversary of the liberation of the FLDS YFZ Ranch. Maybe ZJ can be shown on Thursday…
Until then, I’ll spend my time wondering why god didn’t fill George A. Romero’s heart to make the Night of the Living Dead zombies have a three-day waiting period before turning.
I think I’ll have fish for lunch today.